On Hiatus

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

These four commands are easier said than done. I am on hiatus. Hiatus — a pause or gap in a series, sequence, or process. I am on hiatus until I can live out these commandments. I will not be going to school; I will not be working. I will be living my life to the fullest each moment until I am confidently living with strength and courage, without fear or discouragement. Here’s my story.

Life had become so incredible. Amazing. Too good to be true. My dad overcame a terminal cancer diagnosis on March 9, 2017. I remember being at work when he called to tell me, and I was truly overwhelmed by tears. I could not believe such a dim prognosis had been overcome. He was the healthiest he had ever been. He was eating healthy and going to the gym, even challenging me to some pretty intense racquetball tournaments. His second chance at life was something beautiful.

Three weeks ago, something changed. He began experiencing pain so severe that he could not get out of bed. We believed there was nerve damage, likely from radiation. He would get an MRI to affirm this, get a good treatment for it, and we would resume living his second chance.

Never in a million years did we think the cancer would be back. Looking back, perhaps that was where we were foolish. We were both naïve and hopeful. His cancer is back, and he is still in bed. Surgery and radiation are completely off the table for treatment. Chemotherapy is an option, but the side effects are utterly debilitating. If not chemotherapy, my dad will enter hospice care. Now, doctors are working to manage his pain and keep him comfortable, maintaining his quality of life.

Hi there, my name is Danielle DesRosier, and I am 20 years old. This fall, I am set to begin my junior year of college as a transfer student at my dream school, Santa Clara University. I was given this incredible opportunity as a result of my dad’s second lease on life, making me finally feel ready to leave the nest and start building a life of my own. Now that his cancer is back aggressively, I have decided to defer my admission and stay home to be by his side.

My dad is a strong and courageous man. He lives his life beautifully in accordance with Joshua 1:9. He does not fear what is coming. He embraces what comes his way, puts a smile on, and makes the most of it. He has given me every opportunity I could imagine to live a fulfilling and blessed life. It is now my duty to repay him. I have promised him that I will use my life to make him proud and carry out the lessons he has taught me. This blog will be used to keep track of how I do that and how I overcome this trial with strength and courage. I hope that it may reach even just one person to give hope in the face of an otherwise hopeless situation.

I’m Danielle, and I believe that everything will be okay. I don’t what okay means right now, but with strength and courage, I know that it will be okay. I will be okay.

4 thoughts on “On Hiatus

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